“Money is a poor man’s game.”
I just quit the second job I’ve had in the last month. My nerves are unsettled. The first job, my gut had SCREAMED at me not to take, and I blatantly ignored the holler. The second time, I was less prepared to accept ignorance.
If you had told me 10 years ago that I would leave a job at the World’s most famous comedy club, I probably would have laughed at you and then bitten my own hand off for the opportunity; but things change. Am I capable of 6am finishes? Yes. Do I want them? Not at all. Priorities change and it’s imperative to be gentle and to listen to yourself. I have grown to understand that I have been living with one foot in the past. I am terrified of taking that full leap into adulthood. Being truly present in… well, the present, is absolutely maddening to me.
Staying at that job meant, at 33 years old, not getting to go to any broadway shows. Having no foresight into my schedule/ no ability to make plans for the next week let alone any further. Not being able to play any open mics with regularity. Sleeping through most of the day. Missing the light.
And more than that, missing the only love I have in my present life, which appears in the form of my devoted partner and our dog. No long Monday walks, no date nights, no lazy couch evenings, no yahtzee mornings…
Nothing comes before love. Of all the things about me that continue to change, just one stays the same; love always comes first.
Money is a poor man’s game.
vogupoet.
